Okay, so we can summarize thusly:

Driving while intoxicated is against the law in most states except Colorado, apparently.
You're only intoxicated if you visibly show signs of lack of control.
It's only against the law if you do it in a way that gets you caught.
Someone's property, health, or life must be damaged in order for this to be anything more than a roadside debate.

Boy, those years in uniform were sure spent defending something worthwhile.........