I had an idea tonight and it was too funny not to try it out. Without further preamble here it is: velcro clipless.

The pedal assembly:


The shoe attachment:


Attached to human foot (note high fashion style):


Attached to pedal without cyclist (not the intended mode of operation):


And finally, the operational configuration:


I did test tonight only briefly (it's raining, not optimal test conditions) but it was successful! I could pedal one-legged, pull up on the back side, and suffered no tombay falls at stoplights.

Think it will catch on?