So I'm going to somehow remember to reply to everything that's been said so far.

1) When I said I've ridden on and off before that means more than what you think it means. Prior to having my own road bike, I road my xc coaches specialized carbon fiber (i dont remember what model it was) for about 6 months before I gave it back. I started my riding with that bike by climbing hills with my friends who had been biking for a long time, and at the end of the first week a well known mountain called Mt. Diablo. Look it up for those that don't know it. I even pulled a SF to Woodside and back ride after only 3 weeks of riding.

2) For those arguing against being able to find cheap bikes, you are all completely ignorant and far too lazy to realize how blind you are. I posted an ad on craigslist seeking a road bike for my own. A nice lady did in fact reply to me and gave me my current bike for free though my ad was willing to pay up to 150$ for a bike. Albeit it is a vintage Specialized Sirrus (google it it's black and red) and a tad bit too big, I only need to swap the stem with a shorter one and it'll ride well and fit me, it's a 54cm. It even came with SPD pedals. Thank you very much!

3) For the guy who tried to ever so much point out my stupidity when it comes to bikes I thank you for obviously making me seem like a fool. I was blanking out on the word "RIM". That does not make me stupid nor prove that I have a lack of knowledge about bikes. I thank you again.

4) Just because I said my father has tools doesn't mean I'm stupid and don't know how to use them. I know how to use all of them. When I was in 7th grade I stripped an old BMX bike down, repainted it myself with a spray can, then rebuilt the whole bike. On my road bike now, I regularly true my own wheels, change my tires, adjust my derailleurs, and more. I may not be some absolute genius or know every single F'ing term for every god damn part or tool but I know it generally works and how to fix ****. So again I thank you.

5) For everyone pointing out that conversions become more expensive than complete bikes, I disagree. I've been doing a lot of googling and craigslisting, and I've found that many people post parts on CL for almost half price. I can get carbon fiber handlebars for 15$. I've seen it before. A lot of people just don't give a ****, so they sell their stuff for hella cheap.

6) the guy selling the Bianchi Piaggio was willing to give it to me for 35$. Sure it's a pos but where else do you get complete vintage bikes for 35$ besides the scrap yard?

If I missed something let me know. I'll comment on it.

And for those that have been nice enough to offer advice without seeming like stuck up jerks or know it alls I thank you.

PS

7) ah yes why did I come here? I didn't come here to ask you to tell me how to swap the cog or hub or w/e technicality there is. I came to see what people thought, and apparently that's not much since everything is lopsided.