Now I don't pay very close attention to new road bikes, but I've seen some at a distance at the LBS. I know they're new, because they have that carbon-weave finish, just like the slimy scales on a snake, and there, perched on the bars, are the brifter things - like two swollen pustules urgently demanding to be squeezed by the hapless rider, who sits high above a misshapen top tube, on something that looks more like a probe with some ineffable medical purpose than a saddle... I look around for the familiar freewheel, but instead my eyes are met with colander full of pre-masticated metal macaroni.

I purchase a pair of brake cables and inner tubes for a flip, throw a leg over my lovely C&V beauty, and ride away together, blissfully.


- Now you might get the idea that I don't fully appreciate new road bikes - but actually, the opposite is true: I give them way more credit than they deserve!