I achieved "Hahd Pwnage" last summer. Biking home from the park (only about 5 miles total) with my 2 boys (3 and 4 at the time, about 85 pounds together) in a trailer behind my mountain bike, passed a guy in full billboard-bright lycra on a bike worth more than my car. To be fair, it was up a pretty significant hill...

Oh, if looks could kill.