Originally Posted by globecanvas

I am a roadie who wears his lycra kit 2 sizes too small. I have a $20k crabon fibre TT bicycle with mirrors on the aerobars. Due to an unfortunate drill accident at work (I am a dentist), my face is permanently disfigured into a smug look that is visible even from behind my head.

While cycling on the rail trail today at 4:20pm I saw a stoner dude on a pennyfarthing up ahead and I tootled past him with a hearty "cheerio!" Shortly thereafter I heard a horrifying snuffleupagus sound behind me and turned, shocked, to see his beet-red face twisted in fury. Certain that he was a psychopathic anti-dentite who was only about 4 crank revolutions away from full cardiac rupture, I turned off the rail trail immediately.

He immediately fell off his bike and lay panting on the verge. As I tootled on my merry way, I saw that he had taken out some sort of smart phone device and was frantically recording the event for posterity.