Check the Planet Bike Protege 9.0 - Current speed, speed comparator, ride time, trip distance, dual odometer (for 2 wheel sizes), average speed, maximum speed, clock, and temperature.
What it doesn't have from your list are the "for life" things, cadence/pace, battery life indicator. Then again, you could get "for life" readings by never resetting the computer before each ride.

Another way to get both "for life" and "per ride" info would be to use dual cyclometers - you'd actually only need one magnet.

And a cheap way to get cadence is to buy a $3 eBay special cyclometer and mount the magnet on your chainring and the sensor on your frame then set the wheel size to something appropriate. There's info specific to this idea on the Instructables website, here.