Carry adequate insurance and stop worrying so much. If your bike gets stolen, it gets stolen. Replace with insurance payout.

I have no garage, so store my nice bike indoors (hung vertically on a wall), but not locked up. I leave my winter bike outside u-locked to a fence. Have had no problems with either arrangement.

I tend to agree with posters who are basically telling you that you're paranoid. Theft happens, and is why I send a few bucks a month to an insurance company that's never given me anything back. It's a hassle if it happens to you, but all these precautions you're listing are a hassle even if it doesn't - it's voluntarily making yourself a victim of a low-probability event.

edit: On the topic of insurance, most base homeowners insurance covers a small amount (mine is $500) for any bike. Some are better, but I found the simplest solution is to have item-specific insurance for my bikes, which required picking an insured amount, and sending the insurance company a photo, serial number, and bill of sale.