Hmm...

-- I'm too small for this sport. I will never have the necessary leg strength to be anything like a decent cyclist. Any time it's even slightly windy, I basically become a kite on a road bike.

--When I originally bought my bike from the LBS (first bike, road bike), I told them I knew nothing about bikes. They failed to tell me about maintaining adequate tire pressure or sell me a floor pump. So when I brought the bike back in, 2 months later for an unrelated issue, both tires had a pressure of 50. The guy asks me "are you putting air in your tires before you ride?" me "you're supposed to do that?" Entire store dies laughing. They've never let me live it down, either.

-- I cannot track stand. Oh, I've tried to learn. Several times. Every time 100%, complete FAIL.

-- I like wearing spandex. Yes, I know all you men are looking at my ass. I don't give the tiniest $hit.

-- There's a MUT in a nature preserve that I occasionlly ride on. It's a 10 mile loop. There's a list of instructions a page long, but there is no indication of which direction you're supposed to go. Clockwise? Counterclockwise? If I go out there and start riding, will someone tell me I'm going the wrong way ("wrong way, fool"), or will they just glare at me? I've ridden up there several times, and I STILL don't know which way to go...

-- I think guys with shaved legs are sexy, but I think they should be required to shave their pits, too

-- If you don't think we are checking you out in your spandex, you are LYING TO YOURSELVES, and need to do a reality check. We're just sneakier about it.

--I have a major cycling tan going on, and I'm oddly proud of it.