Old 06-27-12, 08:20 PM
  #87  
bkjames00
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Originally Posted by sci_femme
Well, the discussion runs in circles and consumes broadband. OK, here we go again, Mars-Venus moment.

Every single one of you has offered a SOLUTION. Geez, boys, do you understand that we are intelligent enough to see the solutions ourselves and offering another one comes across as patronizing?

What she needs is to VALIDATE her feelings, something along the lines "Honey, I would be worried too". And at least try to sound sincere. She puts up with aforementioned patronizing, she's gotta love you, that's why she is worried.

While in the process of acknowledging her fears, try to abstain from offering reasons why it is safe. How to find the right words - well, it is time to exercise that muscle between your ears. Partial understanding of the process is offered by posts ##65 and 76.

Of course, there always is that strong silent way of doing things - heading into the traffic without saying a single word and asking forgiveness is optional. Is anybody willing to venture a guess how many booty points this approach is doing to get? Or are you ready to find out that some doghouses come with root cellars?

caloso and tjspiel - C-
the rest - F
Class dismissed

SF
Thanks for your insights. You're right, it is a Mars/Venus issue. Though I think you're being too hard on some posters. You're right that reason and stats and reassurances are not going to be the solution, I think. But I think you're being too hard on those that are suggesting I show her the route, get her comfortable with it, and slowly and carefully discuss why this is important to me and hope that she will gradually become more comfortable with it. It's going to be a process.

Dammit why won't she just listen to reason! Kidding.
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