I agree with all your advice, except for #2. I carry a good (Rema) patch kit and one spare tube. I have not yet needed more. Also, I just got a flat yesterday (on the Manhattan bridge, actually!) and 3 people stopped to ask if I needed help. Maybe you were one of them? Several more slowed down, saw I had what I needed, and kept going. So maybe you've had bad luck with that, but it's not everyone!

And your #3, about stopping at lights, I judge those case by case. I stop and look, and if it's clear I go. I don't like to wait next to cars due to the reason you mention above.

I also moved here from LA, although out there I rode a motorcycle everywhere, not a bicycle.