Mentioned this one before but it is priceless.

The smokers where I work are banished to an outside area for their breaks....which happens to be right next to the bike rack.
As I was mounting up and about to leave for home several co-workers were there puffing away and one especially sickly looking guy about half my age started ribbing me and said something about me being crazy riding home in the rain after dark and how I could get myself killed.
I looked at his cigarette, his face, his cigarette, his face....and just rode off. His expression was worth a million bucks.