You don't patch on ride. You batch patch at home. It takes 15 minutes to patch 5 tubes. At $7/tube, that's $140/hr. Not bad for an easy activity.

My patches have always worked, no tricks required. I used to immediately swap out my unpatched tubes for patches ones just to see if they held, but they're good enough now that I carry them as my spare. (I carry two spares at all times, so the odds of having both tires fail patching is really, really low.) I haven't bought a tube in 2 years, and I'm up to 6 of them on hand between 2 bikes since I've recycled a few tubes from fellow riders who were going to discard theirs after they flatted on the road. It's always funny to me when I do eventually get a flat, and then see how many patches I've accumulated on the tube.