- I got dropped by a woman about 15 years my senior on a hybrid with flat bars and panniers (and I thought I was really flying at the time).
- Fallen over 8 times at intersections trying to unclip (twice in front of attractive women).
- I bonked 10 minutes into my "comeback" ride.
- While I can bunnyhop out of a water rut on my MTB at over 80 km/hr, a tomato sized rock can bring me to a dead stop on a hill.
- I managed to scatter my pump, waterbottles, computer, shades, and dignity when I hit the back of a parked car going 35 km/hr.
- I have crashed every bike I own (unintentionally) at least once within the first week of ownership.