-Fell first day with toe clips while recieving directions on the start of a charity ride.
-Decided to bike on a day when temps were over 100, the only thing I had drunk all day was coffee and I forget to bring any water. I "felt the burn" on the post ride piss...
-Broke my shifter from crashing into a big ditch at speed.
-Own the world record for crashing a road bike into a ditch.
-I still instinctively go to the tops of the bars for the brakes.
-I have forgot to flip those levers down after putting the wheels back on.
-Own the world record for off-road road bike usage.
-The max speed on my bike was not set by me.
-I own a cycling cap from a team I never have heard of.
-The only car I ever have passed was a mail truck delivering mail.
-I bought a racing bike when I wanted a touring or cyclocross bike so I could commute.