totallynew, I have a feeling you're getting into this with the right attitude, and I'm looking forward a couple of years to seeing you posting seasoned advice to a future crop of newbies, who will be totally nonplussed by your handle (assuming you keep it the same).
I agree with others above, no need to obsess about equipment right off the bat, just dive in, and fine tune your gear afterward, based on first hand experience. Quite likely you'll end up with multiple bikes, once you figure out what different particular riding missions you want to equip yourself for.
For warmth, figure out by experiment what, if anything, needs improvement from your current wardrobe, and then go looking for it.
If you have to ride between sunset and sunrise, you will need lighting at any rate, so I recommend you find a sales outlet (online?) that has buyer reviews that you can peruse. Lighting needs are very specific to the situation. I.e., is it a matter of being seen, or of illuminating the unlit, deserted path in front of you?
As for choice of bike, a late model, state of the art "road" bike is probably too specialized for most commuting purposes. But if you're not adverse to buying used, and perhaps doing a little wrenching as needed to refurbish/customize, thers is an enormous supply of low-mileage, commuting-friendly, quasi- as well as fully-fledged road bikes out there on the used bike market, that will be much less expensive and yet much more suitable for commuting, than a current model road bike. New bikes these days are becoming much more specialized than in the past, so, yes, you can always get what you want, but you'll always pay for it (unless all you want is a so-called "bike shaped object" (BSO) from a so-called "big box store".