Hi Barbara!
First things first...whatever it takes to keep going.You have alot of loss 'on your plate' a the moment.greiving is a process. I plan my day around biking, meditating and sunning at this point. The noon hour is mine.. no exceptions. After the self-love and endorphins kick in, I keep busy with people and my mind stays out of the 'shadows' for awhile.
Hey..keep going..you are an inspiration to others that see you ride AND not quitting will reap positive results. If you get over to Moab, Let's ride!
nan P 'aka' bikedancer