Here is a link to the type of saddle that solved all those very same problems for me. I wish they had been available years ago but thats how technology works I guess. http://www.rideouttech.com/Bicycle_S..._Ordering.html
These saddles are firm, no squishy padding, have a very different ergonomic shape, and are actually very small in size. They support you where needed and have a proper cutout. No more chafing, no pressure points and oh so comfy!