georgiaboy

Eating for $6 a day?

Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the $6 dollar meal?
Ted Stroehmann: Yeah, sure, $6 dollar meal. Yeah, the economy diet.
Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: $5...dollar...meal.
Ted Stroehmann: Right. Yes. OK, alright. I see where you're going.
Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a grocery store, you see a $6 dollar meal sittin' there, there's $5 dollar meal right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?
Ted Stroehmann: I would go for the $5.
Hitchhiker: Bingo, man, bingo. $5 dollar meal. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the $6 dollar folk.
Ted Stroehmann: You guarantee it? That's -- how do you do that?
Hitchhiker: If you're not happy with the first 5 dollars, we're gonna send you the extra dollar free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B".
Ted Stroehmann: That's right. That's -- that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with $4 dollar meal. Then you're in trouble, huh?
[Hitchhiker convulses]
Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not $4! I said $5. Nobody's comin' up with $4. Who eats on $4 a day? You won't even get your stomach goin, not even a Tse fly on a ham sandwich.
Ted Stroehmann: That -- good point.
Hitchhiker: 5's the key number here. Think about it. Jackson 5. five fingers. 5, man, that's the number. 5 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Ted Stroehmann: Why?
Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're f'in fired!