Bike shorts make a big difference. I like Aero Tech Designs' Top Shelf bike shorts (they come in lots of big sizes, too). Wear them (no underwear) with polyester workout shorts or polyester track pants (depending on temp) on top, to shield innocent eyes from the spandex. For saddles, I am really liking my Brooks B17. As soon as it got broken in so that I wasn't sliding off of it (they are slick to start with), it has been perfect. Took a few rides to get there, but now it is wonderful. The advice others have given about trying before you buy if you can is good, too.