Okay since everyone started taking offense to my "inconceivable actions" I hauled my bike to the bike shop and got the same response already given by FastJake. "Yeah man, All you need to do is buy an adapter, I have one here for 15$, and it will make it so you can use a Braze-On front derailleur on your bike's frame."

Thanks everyone for your kindness... Christ I am new to cycling mechanics so be a little more helpful like FastJake and less destructive.