Very funny.

In Soviet Russia, even geared bicycles were nearly nonexistent. There were a few popular mass-produced models of bicycles, but they were all fixed-gear with cruiser-like bars. Racing road bikes were about as common as bobsleds: you could only get one if you lived in the right city and you joined a specialized racing club. I think that the first time I saw a geared bicycle was after I came to the U.S.