First let me say there are lots of interesting responses to my original post. I do want to clarify that I think there is a difference between being depressed and feeling depressed - long term and perhaps persistent versus short term and quickly passes. (And, yes, I realize that semantics and definitions are important. It is highly likely a better choice of words in my thread title would have been “sad”.) In any event, my friend's situation is not making me depressed. Rather, it was a momentary feeling of deep regret and sorrow for his choices. I suspect he will lead a shorter life and is fully aware of this. In one sense he is happy with what might be called a very prolonged death trajectory. I just don’t know how people get to this spot. I’ve asked him if he’s happy and he’s responded that he’s not unhappy. I’ve asked what else he’d like to do with his life or experience in life. His response is that he’s content with things the way they are and there’s nothing else he really wants. In the social gerontology literature one theory of aging that has lost favor (and I’m glad this is so) is the disengagement theory. It holds that it is normal for people to disengage as the age. The image of spending the remainder of one’s life on the front porch in a rocking chair would be an apt one. Well, this is where he seems to be. And, it may be a flaw in me, but this happening to someone I care about just makes me sad.