Steely Dan

i had one of the most unusual bicycle dreams of my life last night.

my commuter bike had a busted rear wheel, so i went to a bike shop looking for a new wheel, but the bike shop i went to was this odd-ball place with 20-something year old hipsters working there dressed up like genuine 19th century members of the league of american wheelmen. however, i hadn't stepped into a full-blown time warp or anything because there were still contemporary bicycles being sold there along with all kinds of old-timey stuff. i could tell that the hipsters, and the store itself, were the ones out of time.

i started talking to one of the clerks, explaining that i was a bicycle commuter and that i needed a new wheel for my bike. he tells me that they could certainly sort me out with a new wheel, but he also had a far more intriguing offer to make me as well. he went on to tell me that penny-farthings are right on the cusp of becoming the next big trend in cycling and that they're perfect for commuting because the large diameter wheels just roll right over every pavement imperfection and the extra height improves visibility. he then let me in on a little secret. he tells me that he has a real-deal refurbished 19th century penny-farthing in the back of the shop that he could let me have for $250!!!!!!! (dreams are so wonderfully absurd). not being a dumb-ass, i totally jumped on the offer and he went and got the bike from the back of the shop and we went out in front of the shop where he gave me a quick tutorial about getting off and on the thing (it's amazing how fast i picked it up) and i paid him the money and rode my new bike home.

the next morning i woke up all excited to hop on my penny-farthing for my first commute into work with it. i get going and quickly realize that the best course of action at stop lights is to just track-stand on the bike instead of getting down and having to start from the ground position. not ever having been on a penny-farthing in real life, i have no idea if it's easy or difficult to track-stand on one, but because i can track stand on a conventional bicycle fairly well in real life, track-standing on a penny-farthing in my dream is super easy and second nature for me. the best part of the experience was being up so much higher than the surrounding car traffic. the height made me feel like i was in charge, like i could push the cars around instead of vice-versa. it truly was an awesome feeling!

unfortunately, some distance into my commute, the right pedal on the bike came completely off the crank arm, making the bicycle impossible to ride. however, i realized i was lucky to be be very close to the bike shop where i had bought the bike (i love it when dreams are all convenient like that) so i walked it over to the shop. i leaned the bike up against a wall outside of the shop and went in to find the clerk who had sold me the bike the day before. after some searching for a bit (for some reason the store was gigantic and spread across 2 floor levels) i found the clerk and explained the situation with the pedal. we walked out of the shop to look at the bike, but when we got outside the bike was gone, nowhere to be seen. i had not locked it up because who would lock up a penny-farthing, how silly and incongruent. i started scrambling around the immediate area around the store to see if i could find the bike or the person riding off on it. nothing. it was gone.

dejected and heartbroken, i went back to the shop but it wasn't there either anymore. it had vanished as well. within my dream i said to myself: "i guess it was all just a dream".