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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
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It does sound like you're overthinking this, because a lot of what we talk about as proper fit is about performance maximization, and as such, is really on applicable to a very small segment of the population.
If your gilfriend is just going to be cruising around, that's one thing; if she's going to be training to race, that's something else, and each scenario suggests different fine tuning of positioning. Comfort is always important, however.
So yeah, I'd say chill, let her ride, and dial things in as the need arises. Changing stem, seatpost, and handlebar are all things that can be done to get her position in the sweet spot, but remember 'sweet spot' can have different definitions.