We have the same commute....11 miles one way, 22 RT.

I think everyone goes through the same things you are going through but yes, it does get easier. For me, I wanted to ride in all weather which means an investment in panniers that do not leak (ortliebs), the right clothes for winter and making sure I can see (awesome strong lights) and also be seen (ie neon vest, etc).

You will start to encounter things that are "special" to commuters versus weekend road riders. There are awesome special things that you will notice all year around and them you may encounter some not so awesome things but that is what commuting is fun.

Commuting is not about speed, it is about survival. We are much different people and the riding style is so much different then the weekend roadies.