So glad that you're getting so involved with a "silly" thread. I think this thread is important b/c this forum is struggling, and I suspect that the name may have something to do with it. So, I posted the thread to see how others felt, and if my suspicions held any water.
I've put a poll up, so we can get a more reliable metric.
Simple fact: look at the "show us your cruiser" thread, or go to a forum like ratrodbikes.com, and take a look at the bikes pictured there. Most of them are undeniably cruisers, but the vast majority would look out of place on a beach.