Acid,
You're silly.

Those "super interesting commuting bikes" are nice for doing slow errands within a neighborhood at speeds up to about 15kph, and only for short distances. beyond that, they fall flat. I borrowed one of those "super interesting commuting bikes" for a month after moving here. I gave it back as soon as I could.

...Unless you are specifically talking about the holders for umbrellas mounted to bikes and the garbage plastic umbrellas bought for little more than single use; in which case it's a different matter. 1) Those holders are illegal in most prefectures. 2) There's a reason why a sane person does not go for a jog in the rain with an umbrella expecting to remain dry, or the umbrella to be of much use.

The rest of your post was either b.s., silly, or below contempt.