What's your budget like? "(toe overlap, incredibly clumsy rider)" You might be a good candidate for a custom frame. I suspect your perceived clumsiness might actually be horribly fit frames. You should be able to steer a touring bike through a 90 degree turn with the index finger of your non-dominant hand.
I used to ride with a guy that crashed all the time. I felt badly for him (and his wife and three kids when I took him home bloodied) but his bike handling skills were not to blame. His frame geometry was just all wrong for his body and the routes we were riding.