Doug, I hear you, but don't let the swim scare you. I sounds like you could be quite competitive if you would just try, er, Tri.
Check around and see of there is a Masters swim class that will accept beginners. At the IM event Sunday there were a few in my 55+ swim start that were using a snorkel. It's legal, but you would not be eligible for an age group award. I started swimming last October and was able to come out of the water
#2 in my 65-69 AG. I held that position until a hip problem at mile 65 forced me to walk the last 5 mi.
The swim class made a huge difference. I'm not a very fast swimmer, but at 1.2 miles the key is efficiency. The swim class taught me to swim efficiently, and over the long swim that allowed me to pass a lot of people. And I got out feeling strong.
So, go give it a swim try for 3 months. You might just enjoy it. I do!