I think 85 should be fine. I at one point weighed 275, and rode with about a 60 pound loadish. I never noticed anything. I ride 35mm, and normally I go with really light tires for lower rolling resistance, so they sorta look like 1.25s if one was comparing apparent bulk. On one trip I got into a sandy section for about 40 miles where I dropped the tire pressure for more floatation. I thought I had dropped it a reasonable amount, and it worked great. I did pay attention when approaching hard edges like bridges. When I went to pump them up, the built in gage showed something ridiculously low, like maybe 20 pounds. No pinch flats. But at that pressure, I was lucky, and careful. I think some of it comes down to taking care with the bike, some folks jump off curbs etc... I am always looking for a smooth ride.

Your weight shouldn't destroy a wheel, dynamics are far more important. At the time I was riding Alex downhill rims, straight spokes, and LX hubs. I even crashed into a big rock on a trail, and it broke the tire cassing, but did not harm the wheel.