Originally Posted by
gerv
1. How do you get a large pizza and a dozen beer home on your bike?
2. You've bought your SO some roses... Describe in less than 50 words how you would get them to him/her.
3. You were about to leave work when the tornado sirens sounds. What is the best course of action?
4. You've met an individual and would like to ask them to a date-type function (dinner, the movies, a pub crawl...). However, this individual has never ridden a bike. What would you do?
5. A work colleague challenges you on the veracity of climate change and suggests you are an eco-ninny. How would you respond?
Any other questions? Answers? Cliff notes?
1. Eat the pizza at the pizza place because they probably have the game on, the pizza is still hot and beer is still cold, and the ambiance is nice. Then ride home and call the waitress whose phone number I totally just got because I rule.
2. Put the roses in my backpack with the tops of them just sticking out enough so people see how thoughtful a guy I am that I bought my chick some roses. Because arrogance.
3. Wonder when North Carolina started installing tornado sirens, then channel my inner Andre Greipel, put Pennywise on my iPhone, and get my sprints on.
4. This does not apply. If she doesn't ride a bike, she's not the droids I'm looking for and I move along.
5. Tell him he's entitled to his opinion, wait it out for about 10 years (I'm patient like that), then passively aggressively send him a really nice housewarming present at his new beachfront property in Phoenix. The card will read "How's that liberal media conspiracy working out for you?"
the caveat here is that (if you haven't figured it out yet) i'm kind of a smart alec....