It's about time I reheated this story -- I've only told it about 3 times on.
Beat this for dumb crashes:

Most of my hubs are 'old-school', cone and ball. One night, I had my bike upside down, and was spinning the front wheel using varying skewer tensions to see how much longer the wheel would spin with much less tension. -- - just for fun, I guess.

The next day, I forgot all about the loose skewer when I rode off. About 7km down the road, I hopped a curb while looking over my shoulder for oncoming traffic, and the next thing I knew I was on the asphalt, looking up at the sky, because the front wheel had obviously come off.

I was winded and in lots of pain as I was dragging myself off the road. I had an ambulance ride to the emergency room, but the x-rays 'only' showed a teeeeny crack in one rib. I couldn't believe nothing was busted in my shoulder.
My shoulder was farked and sore for weeks.

As sh1t as it was, I suppose I was lucky that it wasn't worse.

Good story, grandpa