I get a kick out of many of these "debates" as a lot of them are based on personalities rather than any right or wrong answer. I usually avoid them and go biking instead.

I keep track of miles and commutes, and set my personal goals based on them. It works for me, but then I probably come by it naturally as both sides of the family like numbers. One grandfather measured the circumference of the trees in his yard every year and wrote them down. My father records miles, I record miles, my daughter records miles, my son doesn't.

I can relate to the "frozen out of conversation" problem. There's so much heart disease and stroke history on both sides of my family. One uncle had a quadruple bypass at age 46 and another many years later. Two more uncles have had them. My father saw that early on and started biking and at age 79 is planning on our weekly 400 mile ride in August. We don't "get" to join in on the others' conversations at reunions. We go biking instead. And both faithfully record the miles. :-)

As to what constitutes commuting miles, "whatever trips your trigger." I'd personally never consider giving up vacation days, but that's just me. Go for it if you'll sleep better!