I'll keep playing ... with grovelling apologies to Lorde:


I’ve never seen a Cervelo in the flesh,
I cut my teeth on mtbs … in the ‘Shore films
And I’m not proud of my souplesse,
On a banged-up bike, no Rapha envy

But every song’s like Tarmac, Venge, trippin’ on the trainer,
Assos, shaved legs, dope in the hotel room,
We don’t care, we’re riding Surlys in our dreams.
But everybody’s like Garmin, Strava, meters in your crankset,
Carbon, aero, wattage that you output,
We don’t care, we aren’t caught up in your love affair.

And we’ll never meet the Rules (rules)
It don’t run in our blood,
That kind of luxe just ain’t for us,
We crave a different kind of buzz.
Let me be your rouleur (rouleur)
You can call me randonneur
And baby I’ll roule, I’ll roule, I’ll roule, I’ll roule.
Let me live that fantasy.