This doesn't seem like the sort of thing a computer program would be really useful for. You could imagine calling in to a customer service center for help with something like this, and an automated phone system saying "press 9 for sick skids."

Computers are much better at doing stuff that's actually computational, like asking you quantitative and logical questions to calculate your tax refund, where all the rules have been made up by people.

<-- Proces engineer who dabbles now and again in JAVA.