Is it remotely possible that you actually have (nominal) 27" rims? It would only be if you have an older, most likely English, bike. 27" wheels are a bit larger than 700c.

WRT the third label, where it says "28x1-5/8x1", I don't think that's actually inconsistent; it's just because in some places the name of the size we call "700c" is "28-inch". And yes, that size is smaller than what we call "27-inch", and has the same bead seat diameter as what we call a "29er". Incidentally, 650C and 650B have different bead seat diameters; also, there are two different bead seat diameters that are both known as 20" wheels, but one is common for fatter tires and the other for skinnier. What could possibly be confusing about that???
It's sort of ironic, actually; I lived in Germany for a couple years, and over there, they call standard road wheels 28-inch. And then make fun of us for not using the metric system!
Part of the inconsistency in tire size nomenclature is because at various times they used to measure the entire diameter of the mounted and inflated tire, and use A, B, C, etc. to denote the width. Hence 700C, 650B, etc. As stuff got more standard, people got more interested in the bead seat diameter, which is obviously smaller than the overall diameter of the mounted tire. That's where the 622 part comes from.

I'm just waiting for pizza places to get in on this game. For the longest time, my better half was on a quest for a 700c pizza.