I know, I know it's ridiculous but I can't help myself.

It's not the swarm of bumble bees noise that the Chris King hubs make, I'm looking for that staccato sound resonating from hubs with less pawls, big springs, and light oil. Any advice?

btw I've got a Mountain bike friend who has the same disease and actually justifies it. "It's a safety issue in the woods, when I back off just before a turn it allows an oncoming rider to know I'm there". I've got no such excuse.