Okay, one story I'll tell because it was legal (enough) to bike drunk where I was...anyway, the cops wouldn't have even gone to the area of town I was in after dark.

I was working and living for several months in Guatemala, and on my visits to town (Xela) I would go out for drinks and chats with folks in the local bars since there was no nightlife where I was working. Went out one night and met a woman who was studying at a local language school who was out with her friends. Havana Club Anejo rum was only $6/bottle there, so we got a bottle and laughed the night away long after all of her friends had gone home.

Suddenly, the bar was closed, the taxis were gone, and she was stranded. Her not wanting to walk home alone (no one should walk alone at night there, especially northern females not fluent in spanish and heavily armed) and me wanting to spend more time with her, I offered her a ride on my top tube (no crude jokes, please) and away we went. She was staying way out of town in the dirt streets area (zona 7, I think.) It was a little wobbly going with me drunk and carrying an extra 100 lbs, but we made it there safe enough. Kissed a little, made plans to meet up again, and I was off.

I decided to take (what I thought was) a shortcut back to the office. Suddenly, three HUGE dogs crested a small hill near the road, took one look at me and started the chase. They were fast and snarling (wild dogs rule the night in Guate) and I was scared to death. I rode as fast as that old clunker could take me, not breathing, not looking back. Then I stopped. I turned around and saw that there were no dogs behind me.

(Here's where the drunkenness comes into play)

I started to think that maybe I had imagined the dogs. After all, they had disappeared so fast. I decided to go investigate. (remember: pleantiful cheap, good rum, cute girl, brain not working.) They heard me coming long before I knew they were there. I turned as fast as I could, but one of them got a little snip in on my leg. I sped away to the office. That's where I noticed the blood. Next morning, hospital, begin rabies treatment (NOT FUN.) But being in treatment meant much more frequent trips back to town, which meant more cheap, good rum and more time with fun girl. Four years and two months later (one month ago) we got married.