I've encountered the same difficulties. I ride with a group on the weekends, but have found virtually no interest in loaded touring among most recreational riders. A few of my friends are open to the idea of supported or credit-card touring, so I take what I can get. Several of my friends and I are planning to ride the GAP-C&O Canal trails from Pittsburgh to DC in June. We are staying in hotels and inns along the way. I would have been willing to camp but nobody else was interested in that.

I have pretty much resigned myself to the fact that if I do any more loaded touring it will be solo. I like riding with others, but very few cyclists have the interest (or equipment needed) for loaded touring.

Another option for touring is to participate in various supported cross-state tours across the US. I have ridden in Cycle NC, Bike VA, GOBA (Ohio), BRAG (Georgia), TRIRI (Indiana) and POWWOW (Wisconsin). Most of these supported tours are relatively inexpensive, and you can choose between camping out or staying in hotels along the way. The tour organizers carry your gear, so you are free to just enjoy the riding. If you absolutely insist on carrying your own gear, there would be nothing stopping you from doing so, altho you would be paying for a benefit that you wouldn't be using.