I'm going to throw a couple of things out to you Pirate, first, notice how many members here have put in their concerns for you and offered some kind of advice, maybe right maybe not, not for me to judge, but just how many people in this disparate group care about your well being. That is amazing to me, the support the members here offer helped me tremendously with my health issues and yes, depression from not being able to do things I used to do. Take this for your corner stone or support group if that works better for you.

Next, you seem concerned about another attack when you are out fishing or riding or just not close to help, if needed. Take some steps to bolster your confidence about this, I use a RoadID wrist band with the interactive feature so the doctors can access my important medical information very quickly and accurately (I have no relation or benefit from this product, it is just something I believe in,) you can keep your cell phone with GPS capability for when you are in range of the coverage areas. When you aren't see about one of the many alert devices that send an emergency signal via satellite communications to alert rescue units. A simple push of a "Panic Button" is all these take, some even have motion sensors and accelerometers to send the signal if you fall and stay down. Put things in your favor so you feel better about doing what you love to do.

Always tell someone, anyone where you are going and when to expect you to return, if it changes call them, or another person, so they know you are very reliable about your comings and going. Don't put yourself in a really risky location, put the odds in your favor. And, think positively about not having another episode or attack, if you have planned for the bad things let the good things dominate your thoughts. This is as much for your loved ones as for yourself, I always let Monica know where I am riding, how long to expect me to be out, I call her if I want to go longer so she knows what is happening, she feels better and I feel better knowing she is relaxed.

I raced motocross and XC for a really long time, started in 1973, I can't risk that anymore, it took me deep into depression, I got worse in my overall health. I can ride a bicycle so I got back into this sport that I got away from in the mid 90's and let it take the place of the missing activity and excitement. Try to think of what you can do, not what you cannot do. Get with a physician or psychlogist to get action going, not necessarily medication(s), they are not always the answer or even appropriate for many of us. If it turns out you do need something to beat this, get with a doctor that works to minimize this but doesn't push you aside or just write a script to write one and wants to keep you in zombieland. Avoid this like the plague, I left a physician last year because his total answer to anything was to pull out the pad and put me on a new Rx. That enede and I got a new, caring, listening physician and got off the Rx train and take only the couple I really need, only one mild for anxiety that is necessary, not stupefying or narcotic.

Sorry for reposting and for the length, I just want you to do something positive to help yourself. Let these replies inspire and reinforce your mindset, use them to move forward, it the spiritual helps you use it, I certainly do, that one is completely private, though.

Best of luck,
Bill