I am not an advocate of having a saddle tipped forward or backward. Forward puts more pressure on your hands, backward causes you to slide backward and changes much about your sitting position. I have found that the need for seat tipping is usually a symptom of another problem ie. too much drop to the bars when in the drops, too much pressure on the abdomen compresses the diaphragm, makes breathing difficult so the seat gets tipped forward to fix that. It doesn't.

I am not totally sure if I followed your description, but your "sit bones" should be centered and on the seat. The seat should not be pushing on the soft tissue of your underside. People have different widths of sit bones (duh) and that's why there are different seat widths.

Women's seats are wider because women have wider sit bones. If a woman generally rides a guy's road bike seat, they seat will be inside of the sit bones.

Bottom line, some shops have a seat measuring device. Basically a pad with measuring lines on it, you sit on itin a position like you would a bike seat, we measure where your sit bones push into the seat and that's the width of seat we are looking for.

Hopefully that makes sense. Generally seats have a comfort guarantee so if it's not comfortable you can return it. Some (like us) have demo seats you can try for no cost.