A few from today's ride.
If you are a stranger and you grab my wheel, introduce yourself first before you stare at my ass for the next 10 minutes. Or buy me flowers.
If you are in your aerobars, ride with your knees together instead of spread like a $2 tramp. If you want to be aero, be aero.
If you are in your aerobars, don't wear a hugely oversized floppy tie-dyed long sleeve tee shirt. If you want to be aero, be aero. Not the same guy as above.