You're not being argumentative. This is what happened. I suspect, but can't possibly know that the stem was off spec. I say this because it's nea impossible to crush a cylinder with even pressure.

In the early days of carbon seat posts, it was easy to crack one if the seat tube was ovalized at the top, or if the clamp was built in a way that allowed the ears to dig in as they tightened. In the end, carbon post makers engaged is some self defense and thickened the tube to resist the distortion that poor fits caused. With time, seat post clamps and stems evolved to ensure even clamping without distortion.

Take a look at the clamp below.


Notice the thin areas where the ears attach to the ring, Under compression load, the ears deflect driving the corners near the slot inward.

Now look at a more recent design



Notice how the ears are built up and extend forward compared to the ring. This allows more clamping force without the ears bending together. This type of design prevents the type of local radial stress at the slot that the older type caused.

You'll see similar changes in stems, with greater stiffening of the transition of ring to ear.

I don't know the design of the Syntace stem you had, so can't say whether it's construction was a factor, but I will say that the early days of carbon posts and steerers were the wild west, and the early adopters were essentially beta testers, and lot's has been learned at their expense.

In any case, I do agree with you about the torque on bolts. This is why I advised the OP solve his issue with finesse rather than brute force. For my part, I don't use torque wrenches, and tighten all hardware to the minimum torque that does the job. When I have a choice, I prefer to reduce clamping force by improving fit or traction.