Originally Posted by
Zinger
- “If you’ve ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.”
- “You may be a redneck if . . . your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.”
- “If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.”
- “You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the “Dirt for Sale” sign in the front yard.”
- “You might be a redneck if …the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.”
- “You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.”
- “If you ever cut your grass and found a car, you might be a redneck”
- “If you think the stock market has a fence around it, you might be a redneck”
- “If your wife has ever said ‘Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.’, you might be a redneck”
- “If your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat, you might be a redneck”
- “If you’ve ever financed a tattoo, you might be a redneck”
- “If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck”
- “If you think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup, you might be a redneck”
- “If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle, you might be a redneck”
- “If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain, you might be a redneck”
- “If your wife’s hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck”
- “If you bought a VCR because wrestling comes on while you’re at work, you might be a redneck”
- “If your dad walks you to school because you’re in the same grade, you might be a redneck”
- “If your mother doesn’t remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck”
- “If you only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup, you might be a redneck”
- “If you think ‘loading the dishwasher’ means ‘getting your wife drunk’, you might be a redneck”
- “If birds are attracted to your beard, you might be a redneck”
- “If you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog, you might be a redneck”
- “If you think the French Riviera is foreign car, you might be a redneck”
- “If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck”
- “If you ever cut your grass and found a car, you might be a redneck”
- “If you ever got too drunk to fish, you might be a redneck”
- “If you stand under the misteletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Bobby-Sue Ellen to walk by, you might be a redneck”
- “If you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader, you might be a redneck”
- “If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck”
And my favorite
if you've ever carried a bucket of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor, you just might be a redneck.