I'm sorry, it's clearly not the bike for you. I've a friend down in Texas who's most happy to come and box it up for me...

But, seriously, it doesn't look that far off to me. I think the stem is fine - my rule of thumb has been when up on the bars a straight line from eye to front hub would pass thru (or close to) the handlebars. The second seems to have you close to that.

Jealous, jealous, jealous...