Today is Saturday, and I had planned a bicycle ride in the morning. At work, we were to test our backup power this morning, and I had decided to ride there. But my emotions were mixed; I needed to ride, to get out and use muscles to relieve the stress from hearing about the Columbia disaster. Having been a part of the Air Force Apollo rescue team that was, and is, always on standby for a space disaster (but without a mission--they went to others), I still have an emotional tie to the Space Program.

Our test went well, we found out some things, and then I rode. My ride allowed my body to expell those stress hormones that accumulate when things like this happen. I rode almost on automatic, seeing the road, but with my mind not there. My thoughts were with the astronauts, the recovery teams combing the huge area, the family members and those close to the Space Program.

I got home just as President Bush was confirming the worst news, which my mind had already told me but my gut refused to recognize, that all seven astronauts had been lost. I watched CNN as I cooled down, seeing the reruns of the video of the breakup, and wondered at how we got there, how we took it so for granted, and at the huge focus on the program now. Why does it take a tragedy to focus our attention? Why doesn't this kind of efforts go into the prevention of problems, and not await the tragedy that needs to be reconsiled? My work is accident prevention; I see the dicotemy all the time. It doesn't lessen my questions.

John