In my experience too soft of a saddle is more likely to be a problem that too hard. B.Carfree's list says much of what I would have said.

Proper fit, riding form, and strong core muscles mean more weight on your legs and less on your saddle. Hours in the saddle built gradually increasing over time are needed as well.

That and not all bike shorts are equal. Try a few brands and models, avoid gel, and fit. Ones that fit well and with no wrinkling, bunching or bagging are needed. To accomplish that they should fit quite snuggly. I find mid priced ones OK, and my personal preference is Pearl Izumi Attack shorts, but Performance Century model or better are OK too.

I find that for me it helps to pull the shorts into the crease of the inside of the hip joint on each side, forming a slight pouch for my "junk", but with no excess or wrinkled pad material.

BTW, I have not found extreme measures to promote cleanliness to be necessary. I have lately taken only one pair of short on even long tours. They sometimes get washed or rinsed out only every few days, but I do try to air them out at night. I also find it important to air out myself by switching to mesh brief running shorts once in camp and while sleeping.

I don't use chamois creams. If I do get any abrasion an application of Balmex or other zinc oxide diaper cream on the irritated spot, worn overnight, works like magic. I might dab a bit on a sore spot during the day if necessary. That said following the other recommendations, I usually have no problems and the majority of tours, even multi week or multi month ones, I don't need to use the Balmex.