An interesting thread. I'm 38 and started riding really seriously three or four years ago, just about the age of the OP. At the time we were childless and we'd always been pretty indpendent. Also we worked different schedules so it was no big deal to go ride for 2 or 3 hours after work.

When Mrs. Caloso was pregnant I made sure that she knew that she came first. I would make sure all the chores were done before heading out for a long ride. I always let her know where I planned to ride, stayed within a one-hour radius, and kept the cell phone on (it was a high-risk pregnancy and we had to be prepared for early labor). I also remembered not to make jokes about her weight gain as I was losing weight.

After the twins were born, I dialed back on the really long rides, but I kept up the mileage by riding to work everyday and once a week on a long group ride. Since our kids are really good sleepers, I was able to get in some early morning riding: I'd get up at 5:30, ride a 20 mile loop, and when I came back upstairs, I'd have 2 warm bottles and be ready to change diapers. And occasionally I'm able to do a special event like a charity ride or a local race. My advice would be to make sure she understands that you're still the committed husband and dad. And make sure that you're around to look after your 4-year old when your wife wants some "Me Time" for herself.

Stress the physical and mental health benefits of riding a bike. And how much better a husband and dad you are when you're physically and mentally fit.

Finally, take advantage of every mile you can. Ride to work if you can; if you take a car trip with the family, think about taking your bike and riding home or vice versa; get fenders and lights so the weather won't be a factor.

Good luck clbtraindriver! It's a tough balance, but it can be done!