How about:

WHAT IS THIS
"GAS"
OF WHICH YOU SPEAK?

Until recently I had a sticker on my helmet that says "Osama (heart) your SUV." Although I never had any problems, I decided to become shinier and happier recently, so off it came (the sticker, not the helmet).

This one's way too long, but:

WHY DO THEY CALL WHAT I'M DOING
"RIDING"
AND WHAT YOU'RE DOING
"DRIVING"
WHEN I'M DOING ALL THE #@*%ING WORK

One more:

MARKSMAN

Short, and to the point. And hey -- I am an accomplished eBay sniper....